So Tired Today

 I’m tired today. Tired to the point I feel like a semi-truck just ran me over. Tired deep in my bones. The kind of tiredness if you try and take a nap it’s going one of two ways: A.)  a 2-hour deep slumber where you wake with crusty drool on your face not even remotely refreshed and a walking zombie the rest of the afternoon or B.) a 30-minute power nap but your head won’t shut off so it doesn’t do any good to rest because now you feel guilty for wasting thirty minutes of time you could have been working. 

Maybe i’m tired because I’m trying to maintain a personal training business, maybe I’m tired because I’m releasing a book and trying to create a brand with marketable content, or maybe I’m tired because I’m a partner in a new start-up and all the work involved in getting this creation off the ground. All this during a pandemic, where my income has been cut by 70% and  stay at home orders have been in place for what feels like eternity, realistically it has been, well, I don’t know-I’m too tired to do the math.

I say all this not to throw a pity party for myself, but to offer myself some grace. Grace to feel and be tired for the day. To know and understand that it’s ok if I’m not on my A-game or accomplish my to-do list today. I have faith, a faith in myself. A faith so strong I know nothing is going to stop me from reaching my goals and accomplishments. I trust in myself to do what is right, believe in the future, but also listen to the present. Today I am tired and my whole being is telling me to honor that tiredness. My tiredness is not an excuse to be lazy, however, it is a voice of grace and forgiveness as I go about my day. I ask that all of you, you who feel tired, tired of being unemployed, of being quarantined, tired of taking on roles you didn’t expect to take on, tired of the fear and worry a pandemic can bring. Give yourself some grace today. Take a breath and a walk outside. Breathe in the fresh air and sun on your face. Take some time to just be. If the laundry doesn’t get done and everyone has popcorn and goldfish for dinner-then so be it.  Give some grace to your kids, your partners, the stranger in the street yelling at you to stay 6 feet away. They all feel tired too.